Friday, 15 April 2016


Remember those moments when we could not stay away
Like two meant-to-be magnets stuck together every day

We were so broken
We were so lost
But together we managed to overcome the costs
of a lifetime of never being one
until that moment when our hearts became undone

Peelings away the layers
Getting to the skin
Until our very souls became enmeshed the way its always been
How so many moments, like a rainfall of gold coins
Could suddenly melt away like we were never enjoined

Remember those moments when we laughed under the rain
But the muscles, they remember, reliving it again

Wednesday, 13 April 2016


They've moved on
These emblems of a stony path
A foot high pile of leaves
Autumn, I'm not sure why it it stays
When skies are brimming with Spring's song
A crunching quiet of oranges browns
As I stand beneath this barren tree
With hands that once held yours in my pockets
How many times have we traced these lines
Journeys of moments upon our palms
The infinitesimal grooves at our fingertips
Imprinting upon the seams of a thousand lives
Goodbye songs and goodbye sighs
A word that could never be spoken
Goodbye memories, goodbye my trees
Goodbye this heart that is broken

Sunday, 10 April 2016



His heart

Was something that I was pretty certain of

It was solid, strong

And most of all gold¹
¹Gold alone or pure gold does not combine easily with oxygen so it stays shiny, it does not rust nor tarnish, again, that is pure gold. In jewelry, it is rare to find a piece that contains only the pure gold element.

page 2


You would think, however

That something so pure

Would be true

But there lies the dichotomy

Truth is not always pure

So what was the lie?

page 3


Love can either be pure

Or love can be true

We test

If it can be both

or not

page 4


Take one girl and one boy

They are soulmates

Make them sad

Then add the two together in one vessel

Shake vigorously

Monitor temperature

If as expected the temperature has risen to 1111°C² 

Then it is love

Now add pressure and observe for variables truth and purity

² When first erupted from a volcanic vent, lava is a liquid at temperatures from 700 to 1,200 °C (1,292 to 2,192 °F).

page 5



³ Could not be completed/measured as temperature rose to such extent that the universe exploded.

Thursday, 7 April 2016

when sometimes I hear his voice

Ugh lemon tea
(why do you keep insisting
that I drink lemon tea when you know that I don't like it? can you not respect my feelings
my own preferences and dislikes and stop forcing me)
and that awkward quiet silence begins as we hold our feelings slayed
apart and wounded and waiting for the other
I have tried and am trying and still try my best
but I still wake up everyday a mess
can you not understand
I am so many ways of lost, girl, 
We will always have each other matter what
(conditions may apply)
I can't keep holding  up my weight and yours
I can't
Just eat your cracker
(the cracks just keep spreading and widening and soon
this will all fall down
London Bridge? No, darling, 
I'm sorry but
Okay no buts
Sorry for ranting but how is it insanely possible to
(prepare for explosion, 10 9 8 7)
I just can't keep doing this
You know he has really great timing by the way
(6 5 4 3)
I'm going to miss you
(2 1)
Me too

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

return to sender

It is on cold days when everything is gray
and when skeleton fingers of barren trees
branch out against the sky starkly
on cold days bereft of any light and warmth
when the wind runs past
leaving everything behind
which remind me of those days long gone
cold days that were warm days
for all the fire deep inside my soul
the miles I trod, the hours I'd walk
the broken slamming doors I'd escape
to meet you and give you one word of love

The little scraps of hope I saved up on
and bundled up in packets with pretty red bows
happily collecting moments of joy
in a world so dark and empty and lost
I'd leave them on your pillow
for when you would awaken
I'd leave them in your pockets
for those moments you would reach for
your own trinkets of loneliness
to light up your darkness in a fog of death
I'd leave them in your inbox
thinking a word of love might do some good

It is on cold days like now when all I have left
are odds and slips of ribbon reminding me
of the moments I gave away all the love
and thought by licking the envelope that
I too was getting a taste of it even as it was gone

Tuesday, 5 April 2016


you think the only relationship that you ended was the one between you and i
you could never possibly know the infinite ways that every other line has severed no the many doors that shut the many ways everyone else failed  the portals of voices saying i dont care saying i dont want to listen to your sadness or i dont want to be infected by your brokenness no a brokenness that keeps getting broken because seeing me broken it doesn't matter if i crack just a little more so they keep bumping into me with laughter and  fake moments of hilarity or worse dumping galaxies of cold disregard saying run along when i am emotionally dismembered or turning blind eyes to me lying in pools of pain but i keep smiling  and  pretending  along with these people who pretend to be friends  never letting them know the many ways they have broken  me as  well  but if  i ever needed  to know  that   i   never  had  anyone  else  it  is  all  thanks  to  you  who  dropped  me  thinking  i  had  others  who  would  catch

Tuesday, 29 March 2016


           If he
               can tell you
                           that he loves you
                               and make you believe it
          with every bone in your body
if he can tell you
  "I love you"
       and lie
               every letter of every word
                  abusing every tendon and ligament within you
                               snipping with the relationship your coronary artery
                             (n) that branch from the aorta close to its point of departure
                                                            your heartcollateral damage
                              flooding your lungs with damp, spongy red
                   choking, suffocating, gasping for breath
         open artery spewing and spraying red
red iron clear sodium white calcium mixing, everywhere
      waterboarding you with your own viscosity
           Remember if he can do this
             there is not one single
              thing he deserves
               especially the

Friday, 25 March 2016

Maybe Sometimes Like Now

sometimes these candles
they flicker and go out
and out there beyond them
the icicle melts
beyond are clouds and maybe more clouds
and behind them maybe a candle alights
maybe in the same second
your hand reaches for mine
despite all the mountains and oceans and miles

Sunday, 13 March 2016


you will be strong
and it won't be long
until you see that day
when you can look out the window
and recognize
the reflection of outside
in your eyes
my eyes
they have a world for you
waiting and blinking
like a far out star
you can't hear my song
for all that's gone wrong
it's a voiceless tune
and now i look in the window
and write love

Saturday, 12 March 2016

Sometimes You

I've ripped all my pages
and torn my words
I've scattered my letters
to the wind
Sometimes they blow back
into my face
and sometimes they

just fly

I don't know
where they all go
I don't know
if they ever reach you
I don't know even
where you are
But I know
w h e r e  y o u ' r e  n o t

I've stripped down my soul
and torn out my heart
I've scattered my breaths
to the wind
sometimes they blow back
into my face
and sometimes they

just fly

Tuesday, 8 March 2016


there will never be
another soulmate
who will
in the crushingmultitudeofmillions
find your voice
let us never remember
the many moments when we stood
back to back
against the world
front to front
inhaling the odour of our entangled spirit
in each other's skin
let that last fragrance of ceaseless fortitude
evaporate to nothingness
as i
let you

Saturday, 5 March 2016

internal damage

coughing up the blood
bruise around the neck
huddled in a corner
a shaking broken wreck

but everyone has turned their back
they don't want anything to do with you
they've washed their hands in the salt of your tears
and locked the door behind you

undressing in silence
revealing purpled marks
all the kicks to the stomach
and everything goes dark

but everyone has slammed that door
they don't know you no more
they keep silent now, don't give a damn
who are you anyways but no-one, no-one

sirens screaming loudly
bright lights blue and red
they ask you a million questions
amazed that you're not dead

who did you think would ever stand for you
who did you think could ever care
who did you think could ever protect you

(miss? who do you want us to call)  no-one
(miss? we need your name) No-one

Friday, 4 March 2016


One day some day
We'll find our ways home
On long winding paths
Through diamonds and stone
As shattering orbs
Fall from the sky
Glass fragmented meteors
Like bombshells drop down
Falling stars
And globes of dreams
Lit from within
But will blind the unseen
Falling and falling
As we trudge on and roam
One day some day
We'll find our ways home

Tuesday, 1 March 2016


frozen landscapes unfold beyond
dancing round the falling snow
twirling slowly lips turn blue
eyelashes become crystalline
from a white cold sun
to a white cold moon
dancing slowly in a silent song 
in the arms of winter

Mise en Abyme

there is no forever
not even the word

nothing ever lives long
but the earth we are buried in

even if our ashes fly in the wind
even if our souls catch fire
and die

even that star you wish on is dead

there is no forever
not even the           .


hanging from a willow branch
turning in the wind
tips of toes graze the stream
hair mingling with leaves

when the willow bows her head
hiding away her face
who can say if the river below
is of her fallen tears

but today the willow tree
she is not alone

Sunday, 28 February 2016


Remember that sound
Loud in your ears
tha-dup tha-dup
As you hear yourself breathe
Remember those people
the ones you told me about
Who, without a look back,
Turned around to leave
So where are those stories
And where are you now?
It's just me and the sky now
With a jar of broken vows

Friday, 26 February 2016


white on white
confined places
yet still so dark
pure white
on every wall
one white ceiling and one white floor
four walls blank
mind is blank
heartbeat beating
complete silence
utter noise
complete whiteness
red destroys
splattered red
dark livid red
dripping crimson
heart abled
pure silence

then a knocking on the wall: you
in the next cell.

Sunday, 21 February 2016

At Last

the yearning bird
escaped from its cage
flying free, it loved

the bird
returned to its cage
and never sang again.

Thursday, 18 February 2016


Maybe I'm bleeding
But at least my eyes are still dry
I've learnt, by these stabs,
How not to cry
Tear up our pictures
Rip them apart
Throw them on the fire where
You threw my heart

Monday, 15 February 2016

and i'm not telling you

each time i fell
maybe i only pulled someone else down with me
each time i loved you
maybe i only saw my love reflected back at me
and it wasn't the love i thought, we thought
this time i thought
maybe i thought wrong
but i thought it wasn't just me
i was wrong
and maybe you realized this before i did
and that's why it's all gone away
why you're gone
and im gone
but that's ok
i have a secret

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

in the end

once upon a time
i was sad
then he saw me sad
and he called me rain

he was the pieces of me
i was looking for
but when he came i put the rest of me
in him

 he walked away.

    then he was gone.

rain went away
rain fell down hard
whether it did or did not mattered no more:
all the pieces of me was not there to tell

only sad was left